Turn Your vision Inwards…

The Flirtation

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Turn your vision inwards is something I often include in my guided visualizations. The idea behind this statement is to let go of what others think or what other desire or demand from you and find what it is that you desire.

When you think of your own sexuality and the way you express yourself as a sexual being…I don’t mean just a fleeting thought…I mean really contemplate it…what do you know about yourself. What do you know about your sexuality? Do you give yourself permission to express yourself in a way that ignites your passion?

Case Study: A lovely young couple I worked with had some fairly serious issues. If you saw this beautiful couple walking down the street, you’d likely assume they had a fantastic sex life. However, the reality was very different.

You see, the woman, who was in her twenties…did not like sex. Period. It just was not something she had an interest in. So, this particular couple had sex once or twice a year.

Their issue–the young man she was dating loved her deeply, but he was a highly sexual person–this arrangement was not working for him. Even though his sexual needs were seriously neglected, he was a loyal guy and did not look elsewhere.

Over time, after several sessions with the young woman independently and then with the couple together…I was able to discover something even this woman did not know about herself. She loved sex, but felt shame around her sexuality because of her up-bringing.

Her parents were fairly conservative and somewhere inside her mind…she had the belief that sex is a sin…especially when you are having sex outside of marriage.

The interesting thing was that logically, she did not agree with the belief that was locked in her subconscious mind. So, with her permission and her eager participation…together, we worked through her blocks.

Over time, her and her lover incorporated massage and yoni honouring sessions into their love-making. For her, this helped her to feel more open and aroused so that she could step out of her mind and give herself over to the process.

Question: What, if any, limiting beliefs or blocks do you have around your sexuality or your sexual expression?


8 responses

  1. Joy,

    Ok I am trying to avoid answering this question with every fiber of my being!! Oy!
    Even now that I have begun, I am not sure how or what to write?
    The block I have to or with my sexuality is safety. In the back of my mind trust that my partner’s are honest about their health status, HIV/AIDS! I don’t think I have ever voice that fear before!! So there it is.
    As I have written else where, I have not been in a sexual relationship for years. I have participated in erotic workshops, have offered erotic massage, even have take a few erotic photographs. Yet a one on one sexual experience is one I have avoided for sometime now.
    There is more here I wish to write but I am not sure I have all the language at this time to do so.

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  3. Self awareness, time to really contemplate my sexuality and my sexual expression, this in itself is a challenge.
    I haven’t really given myself permission to dig deep and find what it is that I desire. Letting go of what others think of me and what other want from me has definitely been a block on my path to finding passion and expressing myself. This has taken alot of practice and undoing of conditioning but has lessened over the years. Also body image is still a block in my ability to express sexuality, a work in process. What ignites my passion?
    Well with the theme of self awareness this week I have given myself time to contemplate
    and more effectively feel when there is passion and desire in my day and take note of these moments.

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